Sunday, June 1, 2008
Oh, why am I asking for this?
So in a momentary fit of confidence I threw my name (and resume) in the hat for a new job. Now I'm kind of scared to death that I'll get it. It's a new position with the same company, and actually in the same department - just a promotion that I'm not really sure I want. I've waffled back and forth as soon as I anticipated it opening up. Lots of people in the upper levels of our department have told me I ought to think about going for it, and that they think I'd do a good job at it. I'm not so sure, but I've let myself get buffeted by their compliments. I just as often think it'd be a great idea as I think it'd be something I don't want to deal with. That's probably not a good sign. It'd be quite a bit more money if I did get it, but that also means quite a bit more responsibility. So many times I hear about things happening and think "whew, glad I don't have to deal with that!" - well, with this job, I WOULD have to deal with that. I'm sure I could handle it, and I'm just selling myself short, but I've also kind of gotten into this nice comfortable place where I like what I do and like the relative lack of pressure. On the other hand, it seems pretty irresponsible to not go for a better position when it's right in front of me. I wouldn't have to relocate, and when would that kind of opportunity pop up again? Oh, and I realize how stupid this sounds, but I'd have to start wearing a uniform and hard hat, etc. and be out in the plant again - right now I get to be in the office all the time, which means I can paint my nails and wear earrings and skirts and peeptoed shoes. I'm never sweaty, my hair isn't mashed by a hat, I don't have to go outside when it's blazing hot or snowing. But, I have to worry about how I'm going to afford to get the house painted and such. Ugh. such a pickle. On the other hand, I tell myself this is the perfect position to be in - if I get the job, that'll be good, I'll probably handle it just fine, and if I really hate it, it's not forever. I've been with the company for 12 years now and they're aren't going to push me out the door - I've had several different positions in this company and something always comes up. But if I don't get it then I'm still in a job that I love - it isn't like this was my only hope to get out of a job I hated. I feel like so many people in positions to make the hiring decisions have given me the thumbs up, that they'll HAVE to give me the job, but maybe I'll flub up so much in the interview that they'll realize how not ready for it I am. I don't know. So wish me luck, or don't - I kind of want it both ways!